This month we have discussed in different ways the superpower of self-care. Remember our superpowers are the areas we do have control over and self care is one of them. For our last blog of the month we will discuss creating a self-care routine.

In the realm of emotional well-being, the concept of self-care often carries an undeserved stigma. Rooted in early childhood schemas and reinforced by past traumas, many of us grapple with feelings of inadequacy, are discouraged from expressing emotions, or have been labeled selfish when we dare to prioritize our own needs. These deep-seated beliefs act as formidable barriers to recognizing the necessity of self-care and fostering positive attitudes towards it. This blog delves into the critical role of awareness in overcoming these barriers, guiding readers on a vital journey of self-discovery and care.

The Shadows of the Past: How Childhood Schemas and Trauma Shape Our Attitudes Towards Self-Care

From a young age, many of us are taught to put the needs of others before our own. This lesson, while valuable in fostering empathy, can lead to the development of harmful schemas—mental frameworks that dictate our understanding of the world and ourselves. For those who have experienced domestic violence, emotional neglect from immature parents, or abuse, the message is even more damaging. These experiences can instill a deep-rooted belief that self-care is a luxury at best and a selfish act at worst.

The Barrier of Misplaced Guilt

One of the most insidious effects of these early experiences is the sense of guilt they attach to self-care. This misplaced guilt convinces us that taking time for ourselves is a direct theft from those we care about, rather than an investment in our ability to be present and supportive for them.

The Perpetual ‘Yes’ Person

Fueled by these childhood schemas and past traumas, many of us become perpetual ‘yes’ people, habitually downplaying our own needs to avoid conflict or disapproval. This relentless prioritization of others over ourselves not only drains our emotional reservoirs but also prevents us from recognizing our own worth and the critical importance of self-care.

The Power of Awareness: Shifting the Paradigm

Awareness is the first step toward change. By becoming mindful of the origins of our attitudes towards self-care, we can begin to question and dismantle the harmful beliefs that hold us back.

Understanding the ‘Airplane Safety’ Principle

The advice given in airplane safety demonstrations, “put your mask on first before helping others,” serves as a powerful metaphor for self-care. This principle underscores the reality that taking care of oneself is not an act of selfishness but a prerequisite for offering the best version of ourselves to those around us. It is only when we are emotionally replenished that we can truly support and be there for others.

Embracing Self-Care as a Journey of Self-Discovery

Self care is more than just bubble baths and occasional treats; it is an ongoing process of self-discovery and emotional nurturing. This journey requires us to confront and heal from our past traumas, reevaluate our priorities, and learn to set healthy boundaries. By doing so, we not only enhance our own well-being but also deepen our relationships with others.

Practical Steps Towards Building a Self-Care Routine

Building a Self-Care Routine

Creating a self-care routine is a personal journey that varies from one individual to another. Here are some steps to guide you in developing a routine that caters to your emotional well-being:

• Reflect on Your Needs: Reflect on Your Needs: Take time to reflect on what aspects of your well-being need more attention. Is it your emotional, physical, mental, or spiritual health?
• Set Realistic Goals: Start with small, achievable goals. If emotional care is a priority, consider practices like journaling, therapy, or mindfulness exercises.
• Incorporate Activities You Love: Self-care doesn’t have to be a chore. Incorporate activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
• Practice Mindfulness(SFBT): Mindfulness can help you become more aware of your needs and feelings. It can be a powerful tool in recognizing when you’re neglecting your well-being.
• Seek Support: Sometimes, overcoming barriers to self-care requires external support. Don’t hesitate to reach out to therapists, support groups, or loved ones.
• Be Patient and Kind to Yourself: Remember, developing a self-care routine is a process. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this journey.
• Practice Regularly: Like any routine, consistency is key. Incorporate self-care practices into your daily life, but remain flexible and gentle with yourself.

Conclusion: A Vital Shift in Perspective

Overcoming the barriers to self-care requires a profound shift in perspective, fueled by awareness and compassion for oneself. By acknowledging and addressing the impact of childhood schemas and past traumas, we pave the way for a healthier relationship with self-care. This journey is not just about self-preservation; it’s about thriving. As we learn to put our own masks on first, we become better equipped to enrich the lives of those around us, embodying the true essence of care and support.

In embracing this vital journey, remember that self-care is not a destination but a path to discovering your fullest potential. Let’s walk this path together, towards a future where taking care of ourselves is seen not as an act of selfishness, but as the most profound act of love we can offer to both ourselves and the world.

Take action

It’s common to believe that our past experiences have little to no impact on our present lives, convincing ourselves we’re effectively managing everything. Yet, persistent dissatisfaction with our circumstances, decision-making struggles, a lack of personal control, a need to control others, or underlying unhappiness can signal the need for deeper introspection. These feelings are indicators that life’s potential is not being fully realized. Life isn’t meant to be navigated with such burdens; it’s a sign to delve deeper into understanding how past experiences shape our current reality and well-being. Recognizing this can be the first step towards healing, and seeking support from mental health services can be a valuable part of this journey. Our professionals offer a compassionate space to explore these issues, providing tools and strategies to move towards a more fulfilled and balanced life.